is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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