problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
