We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
