just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
