ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We need to get me chipped asap
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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