I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
