You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
