I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
