What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
