Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize