all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
