After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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