is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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