i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
now i know why i became what i already was.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
