Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
