just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
