I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
