Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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