new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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