I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
