You work out of a Hotel?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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