Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
