Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
