oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize