he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
