Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
