I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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