I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
