He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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