I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
