Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
