how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
