i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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