the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just high enough for therapy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
