I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
