dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
