hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
