I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
