I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
