STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
