Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
