Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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