I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
