Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
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