At least make sure they are 18
Why
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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