oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
