Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
