you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
