i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
