Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize