Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
