Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
