I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
