he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
