we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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