Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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