Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you inspire me to be a worse person
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
