I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
