Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
