he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
