I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
