One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
