Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mom said you looked used
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize