took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
