So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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