im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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