She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
